Whataya Want From Me?

Why am I having such a hard time making my mind up?! I want to just jump, but for some reason, I'm having a horribly hard time doing that. I don't understand why I'm so afraid. It seems like everything I want. Or though I wanted. Maybe I just don't know what I want. That should be my first priority. One day its a go. The next it's no no NO! I just need to figure it out. I don't want to hurt him. I'm so afraid of having a repeat of last year. It was the worst year of my life. I just need time.