It's always amazed me that no matter how many hundred friends you have on facebook, you can still be lonlier than you could ever imagine.
Seriously though, I've always tried to be there for my "friends," & I've always thought I'd been pretty successful. Although, I'm the one sitting alone in my house on a Friday night. In fact, I'll be alone all day tomorrow for my day off too. I can feel myself falling back into this horrible depressive rut. As much as I hated London, I miss it too. I miss always having people around. The people I've called my friends for many years here have drifted further and further apart. It's funny though, how if one of them has a problem or needs something I'm there for them. But, when I need a friend, I'm shit out of luck and usually a "selfish bitch."
I'm an extrememly social person. I feed off of other people's energy. With me being quarantined, so it seems, from the world I'm feeling really upset and alone lately. I really just want to have friends. Friends I can count on, friends I can trust, friends who want to spend time with me. I didn't think I was a bad person but obviously I'm doing something wrong. Can someone please tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can fucking fix it?
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